Each year I’m asked by numerous clients to recommend herbs to help increase sex drive or make them perform better in bed. While I would love to be able to provide a magic bullet herb that could instantly transform a client into a bedroom superstar, this isn’t how herbs work. Also, lack of libido or ability to perform sexually is always a complicated and multifaceted issue that requires careful consideration by a qualified practitioner to begin uncovering the root cause. Pigeonholing herbs into neat categories such as “aphrodisiac” never works well and only guarantees that you won’t actually find an effective solution to a problem. Today I’m going to talk about two herbs that are commonly pigeonholed as aphrodisiacs, how they work, and how to prepare them. I will also include a “warm and cuddly” tea recipe that will help us to open and be more receptive to intimacy.
When most people ask me for an aphrodisiac, they are looking for an herb that can stimulate and/or increase sexual desire. Unfortunately, neither herbs nor medications work this way. Every single herb on the planet contains a staggering constellation of medicinal compounds that work on numerous body systems and as such, they illicit far more than one effect on the body. Herbs rarely work in a compartmentalized way such as “this herb is for that condition” and people who practice herbalism this way are rarely effective.
Two herbs that are commonly pigeonholed as aphrodisiacs are Damiana and Horny Goat Weed. Damiana (Turnera diffusa) is one of my favorite herbs to make into a tea because it tastes fantastic. It has often been called an aphrodisiac, but this is misleading. Damiana does not directly increase sexual desire or ability to perform sexually. Damiana instead helps the body adapt to stress, and there is some evidence to suggest that it can increase dopamine and serotonin production in the brain. As such, Damiana works best when lack of libido is due to stress or depression (and even then, is not a curative herb for those conditions). Damiana also imparts a warm and cuddly feeling when taken as a tea that makes it easier to open and be receptive to sex and physical intimacy.
Horny Goat Weed (Epimedium spp.) has long been touted as aphrodisiac and as an herb to help with erectile dysfunction specifically. Epimedium works in part by increasing peripheral circulation and increasing vasodilation (dilation of blood vessels and reduction of blood pressure). This includes vasodilation of the genital region, which can help achieve and maintain erection. In my experience, this herb works best for people who are high strung with high blood pressure. The lowering of blood pressure imparts a warm and fuzzy feeling, helps people calm down and open up, and helps them become more open to sex. Again, this herb works best in a specific situation (for high stress people with high blood pressure) and it’s not a general aphrodisiac as some people believe.
As you can see, the concept of an herbal aphrodisiac is complicated and not clear cut. While there is no herb that can magically make you the best at sex or increase libido, there are herbs that can help in specific situations. Damiana can help us when stress is so overwhelming the last thing we want to do is have sex. Epimedium can help high strung people with high blood pressure calm down long enough to open and be receptive to sex and, in some cases, can help folks with a penis to achieve an erection. However, and as stated above, lack of libido or erectile issues are complicated and multifaceted and they require the attention of a qualified practitioner.
Herbs can help us open up, feel warm and cuddly and be more receptive to physical intimacy, so I will leave you with my “Warm and Cuddly “ tea blend that I use for people who need some help connecting intimately.
“Warm and Cuddly “ Tea Blend
- 3 Parts Kava
- 3 Parts Damiana
- 3 Parts Aralia Berry
- 1 Part Epimedium (omit if low blood pressure is an issue or if taking medication for high blood pressure)
Steep 7 grams per cup, covered, for 30 minutes. Strain and enjoy. 😊
